Seems like these two words are big green monsters to people. Why? Because we’re not allowed to have them? Because we’re not supposed to admit we feel things? News flash to all human beings, having faults and feelings are part of our nature. There is a reason there is a popular term called human error. We’re human, we make errors, we have faults. Which leads to the point that we have a lot of feelings about those faults. Its been my recent observation that the feelings people have about those faults are what really seem to bother people.
Lets start with the feelings part. Some people are so very closed off. It seems that at some point, it was thought that if we just shut everything off and pretended we don’t have feelings everyone would be better off. It seems to be like that is a large problem with people today. We shut everything off, pretend feelings aren’t there, and we’re doing great. When in all reality, you’ve had a crap day, week or whatever, you have 2 million things on your to do list, you didn’t sleep last night because your to-do list is never ending but you’re too tired to think about it, you have some relationships with friends or family that have been suffering lately, and whatever else we all have running through our heads on a probably hourly basis. Is that too much for anyone? Or did I hit somewhat close to home?
Everyone has feelings whether you care to admit it or not. Yes, yes, that dang mental health. Well, days or weeks when I’ve been having a rough day mentally, the way I physically feel goes right down the drain. From the moment I started learning to work through what I was feeling, let myself feel it, figure out where it stemmed from and then fix that part. (and yes folks, sometimes, that means you’re going to have to put on your big kid pants and talk to people) I too have my moments still because I’m human. If people would work through their stuff, people would be much happier. Doesn’t mean you have to go talking to anyone and everyone about your deepest darkest things, but talking about issues no matter how big or small is a huge help. There are so many times I’ve been talking about something i’m stuck on and all of the sudden I have a breakthrough.
Here are some ways to process through feelings:
- Get a notebook-pick a time of day in the morning or night. Maybe both. Just physically write in it. Write whatever your thinking, good, bad, mean, whatever. Put it on paper. Not somewhere in your phone. You’d be shocked at how much it helps to just write.
- You can always find a therapist. I’ve heard of a lot of companies starting to offer at least some free therapy sessions through somewhere. Employee productivity goes up when people don’t have a bunch of personal crap weighing on them. If your not a therapy type, maybe get over that and try something new.
- Find a close friend and schedule a regular meet up with them. Use it to talk, bounce ideas off. But make sure they aren’t there to get you more fired up about things, I’ve found I need someone who is just a sounding board
- Exercise is always a great option. Releases those natural endorphins, usually gives you some clarity, and its exercise.
Now onto faults, the other things we don’t like to talk about or admit we have. Again, we all have them. Some bigger than others, but they are there. It seems like we just think, “ok, this is my fault, whatever.” When you can always work on things (yourself). I’ve thought to myself, “well, i’ve always been like this, I am who I am.” Well, I’ve found that to be half true. Yes, you have a personality and probably some habits from when you were a kid. Some things are just part of your personality, but that doesn’t mean you can’t work on them. You can always work on your faults. It takes some intention but it can be done. There is a reason your get asked what your faults are in job interviews, but we’re told to put a spin on them to make them a strength.
Nobody wants to own up to their faults because they have such a negative connotation attached to them. But if we can all get past our own ego, figure out our faults and figure out how to manage them, it makes managing your life a little easier. Like I mentioned at the beginning, your faults are not usually as big as the way we feel about them. And we’re all free to feel how we want obviously. Its how willing you are to get past yourself and admit you have both where the most freedom is found.