Heading into the new year and decade people tend to start setting all the goals of the things they will accomplish this year or what change they will make. The other side of that is people also reflect on the past year and think about all the things they didn’t accomplish and all that goes with it. As important is it is to know where you’ve been and where you’ve come from, we also need to learn to appreciate the past for whatever is has done to and for us bad or good but leave it in the past. We need to live in the present and keep moving forward. The world, society and life do not stop because we decide to live in the past whatever that may look like. We like to reminisce about good times, but so many people fixate on the negative things in the past and can’t move past. Not all things are big ugly ghosts but small little events that really probably shouldn’t be sticking in the back of our mind and like to resurface at the most inconvenient times.
Unlike all the current ads that try to sell you on fixing something fast with minimal effort, most things I offer take a fair amount of work and some time. Food for some deeper thought if you will. I’m talking about learning to putting your mind over matter. Taking accountability for the way you think about yourself, everyday life situations and anything else.
Here are the different ways that come to the front of my mind:
- My youngest son (currently 6 months old) very recently got a helmet. For a very long time, the few kids I saw with these I thought it was something to protect them from themselves with some sort of disorder. Not until recently did I discover they help guide cranial growth. At first I was really upset thinking this is going to be such a pain and my child is going to look weird not to mention all the looks he’ll get. Then I thought of my own childhood and realized I shouldn’t care what anyone else thinks about it. Its helping him in the long run and it doesn’t cause any pain so I really just need to get over it. This is going to bother me more than him and its short term. I’ve been dealing with stares my whole life so I know how to deal with it. Having to put my personal feelings aside that it looks weird when really its just helping my son.
- We’ve all heard of the placebo effect. A test study gives one group the actual medicine and one group a sugar pill. So you get the sugar pill and really think your taking medicine theoretically you may start to feel better or heal because you think the medicine is working even though you never got it. This would technically be a case of mind over matter.
- Ever notice when you get more stressed or upset than usual sometimes your body reacts in different physical ways?(a nasty stomach ache, or maybe an eventual acne outbreak) If you can learn to control emotions and catch them before they run rampant, you can save yourself some pain or the annoying side affect of whatever happens to you. It’s taken me a long time to be able to catch myself getting worked up over things. Usually its something simple that I make a much bigger deal than it should be and voila, shortness of breath. If you can learn to work through something in your MIND before it becomes “a thing” you can, you and make it a smaller MATTER. (sometimes frustration averted!!) Had to make that phone call or have that conversation you were dreading? It used to take me at least five minutes to call someone, anyone. I hated phone calls. I’ve gotten a little better, but in certain times i still have a pit in my stomach while it rings. But after you do it, you think, “oh that really wasn’t that bad.” From that point it might get a little easier to do. (also a comfort zone thing) If you can take a deep breath and just do it, the matter won’t be as big a you made it in your mind.
Just a few points that i’ve experienced. I’ve had to put mind over matter a lot lately and get out of that comfort zone. Some things have seemed impossible to do when really I make it much harder in my mind than it really is. I think there are a lot of people who deal with any number of situations that would fall into an area similar to what I mentioned. The bigger problem is that we let these things hold us back a lot.
Sort of like going into the work week and getting overwhelmed with that never ending to do list in your head. If you just sit down and list EVERYTHING you need to accomplish that day or week and then separate into personal, business, or (insert category). That to-do list suddenly gets much more manageable. If it doesn’t you can at least start to prioritize what needs to get done first. (usually takes me about 10-15 min max. But once your brain sees what you actually need to get done versus to pages you thought you had, your mind can relax and start to process what you need to do and start accomplishing instead of getting overwhelmed and short of breath with a side of panick. Mind of matter!!
So many people, myself included, like to overthink and overanalyze everything. In my case, usually this doesn’t lead to much good and I end up worked up. But if we can learn to be more rational and catch ourselves as we start to fall down that hole, we can feel a much better on a daily basis.
Let me know some of your tips and tricks for putting mind over matter and how its helped you!