Do you ever catch yourself sitting and thinking about “what if” or “it would be nice if….” We daydream about the things we’d like to do, big or small. We think about the relationships we’d like to have or fix. Places we’d like to go. Maybe there is some place you want to live, a new house, state, maybe country. The point is, we all have things we want to do. Dreams that we chalk up to just being dreams. Why do we do that? Why do we limit ourselves to think we can only dream about it, an not do it? Most times, it comes down to one thing. We’re scared.
There it is. That word that so many people succumb to. It is an emotion that people seem to bow down to. I’m no exception. I can’t even begin to count the different ways I’ve told myself i’m scared to do something, say something, or whatever the case may have been. I also can’t county the different ways that being scared has held me back from doing something. Some of it not even a big deal. I listen to people and I hear them tell me all the different ways they are scared to do this, or say this to this person. The world has become so opinionated and harsh that people are scared to step in and help someone in need because who knows what might happen. And unfortunately, those things have become warranted. All we see on media these days are violence.
Aside from that fear, people are scared to fix relationships they miss because a hard 20 min conversation is worse than no longer having that relationship for maybe years? People are scared to actually go for what they want. That dream vacation, how can you make it happen? Asking someone for help with something personal or business, what’s the worst that can happen and will it really be that bad? Or could the outcome maybe be worth swallowing that fear? Could you really figure out a way (not that it will be easy) to learn that new skill to get that next promotion or go for the job that seems impossible?
Maybe your fear is as simple (not really always simple) of being yourself. You’re such a people pleaser that you want to be someone specific for someone else. This might perhaps be the biggest one. This is what I’ve personally been working on for years. Its not easy to be yourself out of fear (being scared) that people might not accept you. You might get criticism for what you do (you will). What would happen if you took that chance? After about a million deep breaths, what would happen if you were yourself everywhere? You may have to deal with some people not agreeing with something or maybe thinking your a little crazy. What would happen if you took that leap of faith, decided to go for what YOU really want? You would probably figure out who “your true people” were. The people you fit in with and cheer you on to be the version of you that you love.
This is a very personal subject for me as I swallow my fear every time I write a blog. These are things I’ve learned about myself, I’ve experienced, and I’ve observed. I’ve had to get over being scared to do things, ask for the help, send that scary message, go to that scary meeting alone. Actually give myself permission to go for the things that I’ve found light my passion on fire. The things that I can’t stop talking about I’m so excited about them. Believe me, my scared meter has been off the charts lately. But what if I get over being scared and it works out? Trudging my own path has been terrifying, but SO incredibly worth it. I’m actually making strides I never thought I’d get the guts to do. The more I have gotten over my fear and being scared of things. Started doing things out of my comfort zone, my world has shifted so much in such a great way.
I told myself being a speaker and getting in front of people to use my own story to inspire and motivate people was a crazy dream. At one point, I asked myself, what if it wasn’t so crazy? What if I can make it happen? How many people could I inspire to motivate to do the same work on myself on them? Then I decided if I didn’t go for it, i’d regret not going for it. So, here I am, going for it. I’ve been polishing my speaking skills through a Toastmasters club I was terrified to go to. Alone. I was scared to start making contacts to get the engagements, but I started making them. I’m getting past the people who tell me I’m a little crazy and focusing on those people who listen to my story and goal and tell me I need to get in front of people. So yes, I currently practice a lot of what I preach.
Being a little scared I’ve come to find isn’t a bad thing. It gives you that adrenaline to get excited. You get those nerves and butterflies in your stomach to allow yourself to think, “could I ACTUALLY do this?” Learning to drive being scared and putting it to constructive use instead of letting it paralyze you like I used to do.
So far, I haven’t found a cure for being scared and I won’t. It is an emotion. Good or bad depending on how YOU LET IT affect you. But again, that’s up to you. So again, I ask, what are you scared to do that could free you from being guilty about something? What are you scared to do no matter how big or small that would give you a win that you’ve been needing or thinking about? Are you scared of failure? Or are you scared you might actually succeed?